May 2013
201 posts
Watchiloveyoulikekanyeloveskanye:
This video changed my life
gnarly:
I love it when people compliment my hair like thank you I grew it myself
readalot413:
liverpate:
azraeldoesnotdispute:
liverpate:
why am i not a banana
Because your genetic code dictates that you are human. However, it should please you to know that you share 50 - 60% of your DNA with a banana.
thanks man
are you telling me that some people are 10% more banana than other people
brbjellyfishing:
What if crazy Steve killed drake, josh and their parents, kidnapped Megan and took her to Seattle, forced her to call herself Carly, and made her pretend she was his little sister
readalot413:
liverpate:
azraeldoesnotdispute:
liverpate:
why am i not a banana
Because your genetic code dictates that you are human. However, it should please you to know that you share 50 - 60% of your DNA with a banana.
thanks man
are you telling me that some people are 10% more banana than other people
(I’m running errands for my pregnant wife. While walking to a nearby store, I see two teenagers harassing a child that is only four or five years old. I shoo them away from the boy, and he introduces himself.)
Me: “So, where’s your mom at?”
Boy: “She’s in the store. Do you have kids?”
Me: “Not yet. We’re expecting a baby girl soon, though.”
Boy: “Well, she’s going to turn out nice, like you! So, I’m going to marry her someday!”
(I laugh, and play along while I bring him to the service desk, and wait until his mom picks him up. Six years later, my daughter comes home from school and introduces us to a friend that defended her against a bully on the playground. I didn’t recognize him, but he certainly knew who I was!)
zeloismybaby:
kindred-spiritss:
hamfarto:
dildos-and-debutantes:
rescuerhera:
thejoshinator:
mpregbert:
ghostgiggles:
if you play an instrument youre automatically 10x hotter im sorry thats just how the world works
how the fuck do you play the mayonnaise
ask Patrick Star
binkshapiro:
whosromeo:
girls are attracted to assholes because in elementary school girls were told “if he’s mean to you that means he likes you”
the da vinci code has been cracked
craplos:
ladies. be careful when u wear spaghetti straps. it might distract the boys. they’ll start thinking of spaghetti. they will get hungry. they will stop at nothing to get their spaghetti.
chefboyardeezie:
banjo-jeff:
chefboyardeezie:
when im rich the first thing im doing is getting laser hair removal on every inch of my body that isn’t my head
you’ll look pretty funny without eyebrows
im at least 3% sure that my eyebrows r on my head
snapchatting:
my life would probably get 2 notes
alrights:
alrights:
alrights:
help im broke i spent all my money on coffee
jk i have 5 more dollars just enough for another coffee
help im broke i spent all my money on coffee
mistressfeferi:
hopelessbaka:
at least gravity is attracted to me
baconbandersnatch:
pippa6100:
I can’t believe Doug Dimmadome, owner of the Dimmsdale Dimmadome, bought tumblr
Well I’ll be dimmadamned.
i-o-u-an-assbutt:
iamaproudsuperwholockian:
counting-to-one-hundred:
APPARENTLY ACCORDING TO CBC NEWS TUMBLR IS KNOWN FOR “Foul language and nude photos”
REALLY? THATS ALL? WHY NOT THE AMAZING ARTISTS? THE SOCIAL JUSTICE? EVEN THE PHOTOGRAPHS ON THE SO CALLED “HIPSTER BLOGS”
WE ARE MORE THAN JUST FOUL LANGUAGE AND NUDE PHOTOS. WE ARE SO MUCH MORE THAN THAT
Are we?
yes we fucking are...
selfdoubtandsyphilis:
dankestrnemes:
do animals think in english or in the sounds they make
this is what yahoo paid $1.1 billion for
wartortles:
vinylequalshappiness:
wartortles:
theres nothing jacking off cant fix
Masturbation Addiction.
ok u win this time
Watchladyhistory:
IN WHICH BLOOOBELL TURNS LOOOMINOUS LIKE A FAIREEE
dysenterygay:
i asked my italian grandfather if the rough parts of italy were called the spaghetto and look at me w/ so much shame
rneerkat:
darrynek:
rneerkat:
if somebody invented a shirt with a giant pocket in the front they would be millionaires because who wouldnt want to feel like a kangaroo
oh
